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But Scampi felt he had to go over everything with me, step by step, so I humoured him. We did a quick run-through without Chef Fido and I amazed the director by being letter perfect."Alright!" he exclaimed, turning to the dog trainer. "Come on, you nelly... get that black turd over here... and keep the fucking choke chain on him this time!"Scampi looked up at me and grinned this big, phony grin. "Heh-heh-heh," he said, "you aren't afraid of doggies, are you? Heh-heh." No," I answered matter-of-factly, watching Mr. Clean give commands to the huge poodle.In psychology class, Mr. van Demis taught us about Pavlov and how he taught dogs to drool at the sound of a dinner bell. Mr. van Demis didn't say a word about girls teaching themselves to drool at the sight of a dog. Lordy. Did I ever have an urge to bend over and take a long, loving look at Chef Fido's monster parts! In his white hat, he was about the sexiest thing on four legs. I mean it. He had this glistening black nose and a pair. It didn’t matter to him anyway, for to him, he was comatose enough to almost be dead, and any recognition of this clinical world they’d stuck him in didn’t really register. There were now only two states of his being; conscious long enough to understand that he wasn’t dead yet, and unconscious, where he was spared from his thoughts.He’d been in the ward for almost a year when he was finally released. The Health authority assigned someone to check on him twice a week, although he really didn’t feel that he was worth the effort or expense. But twice a week, once on Wednesday and again on Saturday, there was a woman that knocked on his door, demanding that she be granted entrance, then testing him and measuring all his vital signs. At first, he resented the intrusion, but over the months, he slowly began to accept, then look forward to the human contact she represented. She prescribed a diet that he followed, if only to keep her from nagging him about his weight and general condition..
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